Adventures with Toots and Noodles

End of the weekend

Toots and I laughed a lot during my visit this afternoon.  My sweet, nutty, whimsical girl.  Volleyball is one of her sports; there was an empty tissue box on the table, and she started "serving" it over to me, saying "Let's play volleybox!"  And we did, for a few serves.  At another point, she kicked our Diet Coke bottles off the table, and that was "kicksodaboxing"!  (Maybe you had to be there for these to be funny.)  We also played rummy 500, and she won.  I think she didn't even cheat.  It was a really good time.  As always, it was difficult to watch her go back through the door into the locked unit.

Earlier in the day, Noodles marched in the local parade.  In hot, humid weather.  With the karate school.  In BLACK uniform.  (I was afraid he was going to fry.  Water poured over his head helped.)  The plan was for his team to march in two straight lines, stop and do a short routine at intervals, then run towards the spectators and distribute teeny American flags (that had an advertisement for the school on the sticks--this is probably against flag etiquette but I thought it was a good marketing gimmick).  Then, they were supposed to re-form when their captain called.  The idea was good, but the execution of it was a little disorderly, because they really got into running around giving out the flags. And mostly didn't come back when called.  Not quite a precision team, not yet, but hey, they had fun. 

Oh, how I love both my kids.   Even with all the painful times we have had, I am so glad and thankful that I get to be their mom. 

Memorial

Of the older people with mental retardation served by my agency, many have little or no contact with their families.  Quite a few were institutionalized as young children.  Some (this is no joke) have families who have told the agency "Let us know when s/he dies--that's all."  Many don't have obituaries published in the local paper.

That having been said, we lost another participant two days ago. 

Bob was a man I didn't know well.  He wasn't in our program for long.  His personality may have been a little crusty and cranky, but he did have a nice smile at times.  He died of an inoperable cancer that was discovered quite recently. 

Bob, you deserve a memorial, even if it's only on this little blog.  I believe that tonight you're out of your wheelchair, and you're smiling.  Amen. 

A little announcement

Lew is turning 50 tomorrow!  He, Noodles and I are going to have a small dinner out, then on Saturday we will have Toots out on pass and go out again with some other relatives. 

What are they saying, "50 is the new 30"?  Anyway, the guy is still reasonably cool.  And Noodles had him come to school for "Hero Day" yesterday.  Which was very sweet.

Let's all play like it's normal

Tonight, the girls' program at S-- Center held a Family Bingo Night.  Like the previous Family Feud Game Night, this involved dinner with the girls and then game-playing. 

Toots was the first one to call "Bingo"!  And Lew and I also won!  The prizes were small, but it was still nice, considering we don't win things often.  (Now if we could only clue into some winning lottery numbers.  THAT would really help.)

It's like an evening entertainment at any school, except at the end when the girls have to line up in their groups and head back to the locked living units.   

It was still good getting to spend time with Toots. 

By the way, we had to sign some papers relating to her upcoming transfer to L-- F-- Center, and I saw that her current psych diagnoses are PTSD and schizoaffective disorder.  She's had about 7 or 8 different diagnoses by now.  I don't really pay a great deal of attention to any terms besides PTSD, since I firmly believe that that the bad things that happened to her, pre-foster care, are at the root of the problems.  And she doesn't torture puppies or kill kittens.   

Not the best weekend

The migraine monster paid a visit yesterday....I'll gloss over the grim details.  Suffice it to say that I landed in the ER, getting a shot of demerol to put me out of my misery.  Which means that all through today I have been tired, cranky and somewhat incoherent.  My ability to think clearly is shot. 

However, I did have a good week preceding the awfulness...first week in my new position.  I like it.  More on it later. 

Sadly we did lose another program participant this week.  Sweet little Rachel, whose wish was to be a princess.  I remember her dancing beautifully in a talent show, years ago, before she had her stroke.  Rachel, now you are a princess in the Kingdom, dancing and singing to your heart's content. 

My Day

Card from Toots:

"Happy Mother's Day Mom!! To a great caring mom from The Loved #1" (?)

Poem from Noodles:

"I am a loving boy

I wonder if you are happy

I hear me saying 'I love you"

I see my mom's smile

I want to make my mom laugh

I am a loving boy

I pretended my mom is young (!)

I feel happy with my mom

I touch my mom's hand

I worry when my mom is sick

I cry when my mom cries

I am a loving boy

I understand when my mom is sad

I say to my mom 'I love you'

I dream my mom doesn't get mad

I try not to get angry with my mom

I hope she is happy every day

I am a loving boy"

Plus flowers and Godiva chocolate. 

Plus we were able to take Toots out on a pass and had a nice afternoon. 

What more could a mom want?

(P.S. In the interest of equal time, I will include some of Toots' poetry in the near future.  She has been writing quite a lot at S-- Center.)

Oh, yeah, I did go to karate class

Went this morning to karate and took the Junior class with Noodles.  A few other moms I know attended, so we all felt silly together.  Actually, now I know how to do a proper punch, should I ever need to.

The marketing gimmick, obviously, is to get the parents interested enough to start taking classes regularly.  I had fun, but I was nervous about protecting the right side of my chest (the side with the pacemaker).  I don't think this would be a good idea on a regular basis.

But hey, I tried something new. 

May I crow, just a little?

Woooo, I'm wiped.  But I'm happy.

We have major house clutter.  I think our possessions reproduce when we're not looking.  Anyway, for a couple of YEARS now, Noodles' room has been one of the primary disaster sites.  We have emergency fire ladders in the bedrooms--but his room has been filled with so many toys, books and pieces of clothing, that I doubt he could even get to the window if need be. 

So we spent most of today sorting, putting away, and throwing out in his room.  Progress was made.  Best part!  We assembled five grocery bags full of books and toys he has outgrown.  I posted them on our local Freecycle page, and got a quick response from a young mom whose kids are 2, 3 and 4.  Perfect!  She came over, we loaded her car, and she drove away happy.  Win-win.  Even better--she emailed back that her son is a major fan of Mickey Mouse, and he was ecstatic over the Disney books that were included.  So everybody got to feel good today!

We are very enthusiastic about Freecycle.  If you don't know about it, check it out.  Keep good stuff out of landfills. 

Good to know

You Are 12% Obsessive

You're less prone to obsessive thoughts than the rest of the world... While you do get hung up from time to time, you're excellent at clearing your mind.

How Obsessive Are You?

A few more things

1. Toots has earned a pass for Sunday, Mother's Day.  We will be going out for brunch, and who knows what else we will do.  It will be good to have her out with us, no matter what.

2. Noodles' class did an exercise in which the kids described each other (no negatives allowed).  Here is the list that his classmates chose to describe Noodles:  Skater, Silly, Cool, Funny, Athletic, Nice, Competitive, Active, A good friend, Sweet (must have been a girl who fancies him), Good at working in groups, Very smart, and Responsible. 

I am especially pleased by "Very smart".  I'm happy that a kid who is classed as Learning Disabled can be perceived that way by his peers (because he is).  He knows we go to more meetings with his teachers than other kids' parents, but I don't think he's even aware of the fact that he's considered "disabled".  And I'd just as soon keep it that way. 

3. Karate school gave out complimentary pink t-shirts (with the school logo) to all moms this week.  They're also offering free classes for moms tomorrow morning (Saturday).  I'm planning to go with Noodles.  As a pacemaker patient, I'm not supposed to do anything that could involve chest contact, but the program director assures me that anything I don't want to do, I can sit out from. 

This should be interesting.